Sunday — May 31, 2009
dream, dream, dream a little dream about me

I got up uncharacteristically early this morning. It was 6:45 when I awoke, but instead of hopping out of bed right then and there, I decided to just lounge around and attempt to go back to sleep, which I think I was successful in doing because the next thing I knew it was about 8:30! I have been having the strangest dreams lately. I know I should write them down so that I will remember them always, but to be honest I am not sure that I would want to remember some of the things that haunt me in my sleep. However disturbing some of the images and horrid monsters are in my slumber, the past few nights have showcased a new type of creature. This particular being is of the human species and the male sex. It is someone I know, or I should say, knew. I don’t talk to this person anymore yet there he is in my dreams. It is as though I cannot escape him. It truly is a nightmare in every sense of the word. I would take my dreams about the dismembered creatures living in the tiny one-room cells over seeing his face again in a heartbeat!

But on the subject of dreams, it is a topic that fascinates me thoroughly. What are dreams? I mean, I know what they are, but it’s so incredibly interesting when you actually dive in and try and figure out what exactly they mean, if you believe they mean anything at all. I’m not one who believes in deciphering every color, every animal, and every little detail that dreams reveal, because I don’t think there is some exact science behind it that is so easy to read like the multitude of books make it out to be. I, however, believe that our dreams are a result of our unconscious. We dream about things that we thought about earlier in the day or perhaps earlier in the week. We dream about imagery we saw in a movie, read about in a book, or witnessed at the mall or beach.

I often think that it would be amazing if our dreams were real. I know that they are real, that we do actually dream them, but what I mean by real is that they were an actual reality. Let me try and explain myself. For example when you dream, and dream about say, a certain person (Orlando Bloom) then he would dream about you too. That sleep and dreaming would just be like living where your actions are real in every aspect of the sense. But is this already true? I guess, it is. But wouldn’t it be cool if in your dreams you could be whoever you want to be. I know you can, but I just think it’d be awesome if you were, say shy, to be outspoken in your sleep and live out the way you never could in the world of wake.

Tuesday — May 26, 2009
the REAL animal gang

I have an odd habit. Often upon seeing people I will make animal associations in my head. It’s a weird thing to do, but I can’t help it as I talk to someone, I think about what animal they remind me of. It has nothing to do with personality or mannerisms (at least not entirely); it just is a resemblance I am looking for, an instantaneous connection to their inner animal. My sister is a rabbit, my mom a cat, and my dad is a dog. My friend Justin is a tiger (actually he’s a Liger because he’s a cross between a tiger of the snow and a lion). I’ve also met a penguin and a whole slew of farm animals (just to name a few)! What am I? I have no idea to be quite frank! I really have never played this little association game with myself. Next time I look in the mirror I will try and answer this perplexing question as to what animal I am because I really should know!

If I ever meet you, be forewarned. As I smile slightly and chat with you, I will be sizing you up and trying to decipher what animal you are exactly. Perhaps you’ll be an Elephant? Or maybe a Meerkat? I’ve never met either one of those!

Until then, have a pleasant day!

Monday — May 25, 2009
the Queen of wishful thinking!

I’m a positive kind of girl. I refuse to believe that things won’t find a way of working out in the end. You just have to remain positive because like attracts like. If you are negative and fill your life and mind with negative thoughts and energy then you’re going to get nowhere fast. But if you fill your mind and surroundings with uplifting and positive entities than you will be rewarded with the object of your desire and a life that far surpasses anything you could have imagined. If things are meant to be, they will find a way to be… it may take time, but whatever is destined to be will ultimately be. I know, sometimes it’s hard to stay positive all the time, especially when life seems sour. But you know what they say, when you’re handed a lemon, make lemonade! I try and take all of the bad experiences that I have gone through and learn from them (it really beats sulking and feeling down). Always rise above. And remember, no matter how bad things seem, they can only go up from here!

Sunday — May 24, 2009
random ramblings...

Sleeping. Growing. Ever-changing. What is this? Who are you? Can you be what I want you to be? Am I lost? Will I be found? Is it true or is it false? So many questions race through my mind. Why am I here? Why are you there? Can it be or is it not meant? Running. Dancing. Staying forever the same. What is the purpose behind the madness? Dreaming. Laughing. Static noise. Dynamic words floating on clouds. Thinking thoughts that shouldn't be thought. Lights on. Lights off. Stay in darkness, it is preferred. Caves and bears and hibernation. Sleep-deprived and hunger-stricken. Hermit crabs crawling at the bottom of the ocean. Wide-awake and full to capacity. Endless choices. Indecisive behavior requiring extra rational thinking. Breathe-in, breathe-out. Let it be. Let it be. Let it be.

Saturday — May 23, 2009
my DAY today...

I’ve realized today I really do love bright colors. I learned how to stir a PERFECT pot of Cuban coffee (the great café Cubano master, Joaquin, taught me the secret to creating fabulously whipped foam. It really is an art)! I surprisingly did not consume any soda or ice cream (okay, that isn’t entirely true. I did have a spoonful of vanilla chocolate chip, but does one spoonful really count?!?!). I cooked some yucca. I laughed uncontrollably on more than one occasion. Several chapters were read in the book I am currently getting lost in. I wrote a couple of lists… and then crossed things off said lists (great feeling). Climbed the stairs, raced back down... and then did it all over again (and again). Washed my hair. Straightened my hair. Realized I take WAY too many self-portaits. Reminisced about the past. Affirmed I really do have a great deal of patience, in fact, "patience is a virtue," was my mantra of the day! As difficult as it is to wait (be it for water to boil, a file to load on the computer, or someone to come clean) it really does pay off in the long run, at least that's what I keep telling myself. Remember, slow and steady wins the race... so take your time (and smell the roses)!

Friday — May 22, 2009
"the WALL"

I have a wall of post-its. It’s located directly to the right of my computer, which I am currently plopped down in front of. The wall is filled with 50 or so tiny perfect squares of brightly colored paper. I add to my wall every now and then. Whenever I think of something incredibly clever, I jot it down on a post-it and attach it to my right. Sometimes, when ingenious thoughts are far from my mind, I scribble down lyrics to a song I’m listening to at that particular moment. I am always listening to music (this girl loves to rock out), so a lot of the writings on the wall are music-related. There’s also a good share of random sentences that only I would understand and important information that I accumulate as I surf the net and do other various things on the computer. If it weren’t for my wall, I’d never remember all of the passwords and various usernames that I have created for this and that. There’s also quite a few lists I have compiled for things I need to do or get (I absolutely love creating lists! It feels so good when you have accomplished something and you get to cross it off! Also, lists just really help one stay organized and focused). I occasionally remove some of the post-its when the tiny square becomes irrelevant. I like my wall. It makes me smile and occasionally laugh (like when my eyes come across a yellow or green post-it scribbled with descriptive words about stinky fish in barely legible hand-writing. It’s times like this that I often will ask myself, “what were you thinking, Amanda?” And to be honest with you, for the most part I do not know lol). My lovely wall doesn’t exactly go with the rest of the décor, but that’s okay in my eyes, because things don’t have to always fit, in order to resonate a deep feeling. Well I think I am going to end this post now… a beyond brilliant thought just crept into my mind and I want to write it down before I forget and add it to my ever growing wall of color!

Thursday — May 21, 2009
My FIRST post!!!

So this is my very first post! Exciting, huh? I’m so incredibly happy right now! Why, you ask? Well, it’s going to be in the 90’s today!!! I love the warm weather!!! I’m from Miami, FL so I’m used to tropical climates all year long! I always say, it just feels completely unnatural to me having to cover up in the winter by wearing 50 million layers. People shouldn't be covered up so much, the skin needs to be able to breathe (and breathe my skin will do today!).

Past Posts:
May 2009 | June 2009 | July 2009 | August 2009 | September 2009 | October 2009 | November 2009 | December 2009 | January 2010 | February 2010